So you’re a parent, now what?
Coming back to work from parental leave
Parenting is something totally wild, especially when you’ve been thrust right out of the workforce and into a round-the-clock frenzy of dirty diapers, feedings, crying, and sleepless nights. If you’re really lucky your baby won’t have colic, and you might even get an occasional shower in. It’s a completely different world to the workforce, so it’s natural that you would feel thrown for a loop diving into it. Having done this twice, I’ve found that people often feel very sympathetic to the plight of the parent with a tiny newborn.
Now take a moment and think about this very experience in reverse. You’ve taken some time, you’ve gotten used to your new normal, and parental leave comes to an end. Tomorrow you’re thrust right back into the workforce.
You’ve missed time at work, so you’re now out of the loop. You’re no longer used to sitting at a computer for a 9-5 workday. Your main topics of conversation have revolved around the latest gossip hitting children’s entertainers and how fellow parents are managing these insane feeding schedules. Oh, and most chit chat has been set to the tone of baby talk – Agoo?
It’s hard coming back to the land of adults, and it’s a double-edged sword now that you’re dealing with tasks on two fronts. That’s why I’ve put together a “Best Practices”, if you will, on how to make sure you don’t burn out when you make that switch back.
Set Realistic Expectations
Reminder, you just spent all this time away from your desk, caring for another human being. Be kind to yourself – set achievable goals and start small. What do you want to achieve in your first week back? Narrow those goals down into smaller tasks. Checking items off a to do list of low-hanging fruit is not only satisfying, but a great way to get back into the corporate groove.
An example of an easy and effective to do is setting up 1 on 1s with your team members. Use that time to not only get the low down on what’s changed in the time you’ve been gone, but to socialize a bit. Flex those adult conversation muscles, they’ve been unused for a while.
Communicate Openly
You’ve set your goals for week 1, great! Now you need to communicate your plan and limitations to your manager. No matter how understanding and accommodating an employer is, it’s impossible to make sure that your needs as an employee are met if you don’t communicate them. Take some time to have a 1 on 1 with your manager and let them know what you are comfortable working on, what you need their support with to get it done, and where else they can help you in your reassimilation process. After this initial check-in, ask to meet with them regularly so you can update them on your progress and ask for help when/if help is needed.
Stay Organized
Your mental load has doubled if not tripled. It’s understandable if you’re feeling frazzled. The key to managing this is staying organized. We have so many amazing tools here at Varicent, and I’m of the philosophy – if you’ve got it flaunt it (or in this case, use it).
Use Lattice, Outlook and Slack lists, and whatever else you have access to, to your advantage. Lattice is amazing for organizing talking points for those 1 on 1’s I mentioned – use a template or set up some points from scratch. Follow up your call with some action items right in the 1 on 1 conversation. You can always come back and look at your notes if you forget something. Slack lists and canvases have also been a neat little life preserver I’ve made use of – I can create my to-do lists, and track notes and links inside Slack conversation canvases.
Set Boundaries
This one’s a doozie, because now you’re hustling on two fronts and the balancing act won’t work well if you don’t set clear boundaries. Work mode is during work hours, come 5pm those Slack notifications should be turned off and you should step away from your workstation.
For those of us predominantly working from home, I think it’s also important to make the physical distinction. If you can, avoid setting up your home office in a space that’s open to the rest of the family, or that is in your bedroom. It’s a good way to set a physical boundary that’ll remind us to set the mental boundaries too. When you’re inside your workspace you can be in work mode. When you’re outside of your workspace you should turn off that ‘work brain’ and focus on other aspects of your life.
If you can’t make that physical distinction, because let’s face it not everyone has the space, then make the distinction action based. Close and put your laptop away, don’t leave it where it’s visible and easily accessible, reminding and tempting you to finish ‘just one last task’. Prioritizing turning off that work brain is so important to the decompression process and taking time for your home life.
Wrap it up already
Hopefully these tips come in handy, but most important of all, I’d like to stress how vital it is to lean on your support system with managing life. You’re a total badass, but even superheroes need sidekicks – everyone could use a helping hand.
Whether its family and friends helping you at home, or even handing off something like grocery shopping to Instacart – delegate and outsource the tasks that you can. At work, communicate and lean on your coworkers and manager to help you when you’re overwhelmed. My experience at Varicent is that we’re a pretty awesome group of people. I have yet to come across someone who isn’t willing to help out – so let them.
And remember, you took care of a human being that relied on you for EVERYTHING, you’re already awesome, and you’ve so got this.
